Sophie Louise Jayne North

This ia a memorial dedicated to my beautiful daughter Sophie Louise Jayne North.

I love you so so much and think about you everyday. The whole family talks about you all the time,
just like your here with us. Everytime i see a butterfly i think of you my angel.

I was so so excited when i found out i was expecting you, it was like all my dreams had come true.

I found out i was pregant when i was 20 years old, on the 14th January 2008.

I had my first scan on 18th February 2008 at 11.35. Me and your granny sat there staring at the
screen looking at you while the lady pointed showed us you, your heartbeat, your brain, your arms
ang legs. It was amazing to se your little heart beating inside of me, i felt like the luckiest
person alive and couldnt believe you were actually so real.

I was so proud i carried your scan picture with me everywhere and showed it to nearly everyone, even
though it just looked like a blur, i wanted everyone to see my gorgeous baby.

Everything was going well, you were growing well, everything was ok at all my midwives appoinments,
that was until i reached 19 weeks and after going to the toilet i noticed blood, i was so so
scared.

Instantly i startd crying and ran to your granny to ask for help. I rang thw midwives who said i
should drive to Barton and they would check me over, your granny dropped everything and me, granny,
auntie nicky, auntie emma and your nephew oli jumped into the car and it seemed to be the longest
journey of my life.

Walking into that room with the midwife was the most anxious time of my life, i sat and spoke to the
midwife about what was wrong and he asked me to lay on the couch and he would check for a heartbeat
to try and confirm everything was ok. He ran the machine over my stomach and to my relief me and
your granny listened to your heartbeat, i felt myself breath a big sigh of relief and then started
crying, as i did the midwife placed his hand on my arm and smiled, i then felt reassured by him. (if
only i'd of known then how much he would of helped me further on)
I was given some anti-biotics to clear up what they then suspected was an infection.

The next few weeks seemed to pass by so smoothly, with me feeling your first kicks and movements,
that was the most amazing feeling ever. I had my second scan on 30th April 2008 at 11.40, there they
told me i was expecting a baby girl, i chose the name Sophie Louise Jayne. I was so proud.

On the night of 22nd May 2008, when i was 24 weeks and 4 days, i was laid in bed and was constantly
going to the toilet for about 3 hours (from what i know now, it was my waters) about 9 o'clock i
sgot slight pains but by 11 o'clock they were painful so woke your granny up, she immediately rang
the hospital who said i should immediately go in, we rushed in picking up Auntie nicky on the way.
On the way, i looked down and realised there was blood everwhere, this scared me all the more.

As we arrived at the hospital i was wheeled onto the delivery suite where i was met by the midwife
who reassured me before David Midwinter, looking back now, he was the only one who seemed to have my
interests in heart. At the hospital we found out you were breech and your heart rate kept dropping.

I made the decision to have a caesarean section as it was your best chance, when your heart rate was
high enough, i was wheeled into theatre and prepared, at 2.09 am on 23rd May 2008, you were lifted
from my womb, no sound was made and i knew something was wrong but tried to remain hopeful, i
remember looking at granny and then David walked over holding you in his arms and looked at me and
said sorry, i burst out crying, i'd lost my dream come true, i didnt know what to do, he asked if i
wanted to hold you but as i was still being sown up i made the decision to wait, you were passed to
your granny who was the first person to hold you, she held you near me and i remember holding your
tiny hand and kissing your forehead. David weighed you, you was only 1 lb 11 oz, so tiny.

We all sat and cried all morning, your granny had the worst task of ringing everyone to inform then
of what had happened.

I made the decision that night to have you blessed by the hospital priest, it was just you me there
baby, i wanted it to be something special just between us. Everone came to visit and i took pictures
of you with them all for memories. Your stillbirth was registered on 28th May by myself and your
granny.

Me and your Granny then had the priviledge but awful task of arranging your funeral, i decided to
have you cremated, your cremation took place on Wednesday 4th June 2008 at 11.00am, it was the
sadest day off my life saying my final goodbyes to you, Your 2 proud grandad's carried your tiny
white coffin, during your service i never once took my eyes off you, i wrote a poem while i was
still in hospital that i asked to be read out during your service. it was my last tribute to you,

To my precious baby daughter,
Sophie Louise Jayne North.


You wasn't here for long,
but in our hearts you will always stay,
for the first time i saw you,
you took my breath away.

With your cute button nose,
and your tiny little hands,
I couldn't believe i had made you
and got to hold you in my arms.

To me you are so precious,
my tiny bab girl,
but now your up in heaven
looking down on the world.

I hope i make you proud,
I hope i make you smile,
because thats what you have done to me,
in our short space of time.

I sit, think and imagine,
what things could of been like,
if you had still been here,
to live your precious life.

I hold you and i smile,
I hold you and i cry,
thats all because i am so proud,
that i get to call you mine.

In my womb you started to grow,
my place to keep you warm,
you blossomed from a tiny seed,
into my beautiful baby girl

The night you came is such a blur,
it all rolled into one,
the hours passedby so quickly,
while they decided what should be done.

You came out so tiny,
you came out so pure,
the love i have for you is overwhelming,
that i know for sure.

I held your hand, i stroked your cheek,
i kissed your rosebud lips,
i loveed the way you seemed to frown,
when i wrapped you in your sheets.

Youe eyes they never opened,
your lips they never moved,
but to me you are so beautiful,
im the proudest mum in the world.

But the time has come to say goodnight,
and let you rest your peaceful eyes,
i cant believe how hard it has been,
to say my final goodbyes.

I sit and think of you all the time,
and that will never change,
your my first born baby daughter,
and in my heart you will always remain.


I Love you x x x x x




I am now at the point where i can talk openly and honestly about losing you my angel. Im proud to
talk about you, i love you with all my heart and i always will, we will be re-united one day, but
until that day comes i hope your up there looking down on us all, i hope we make you all so proud,
like you have me. There are lots of other angels up there with you and i hope your making friends
and having fun.

Until we are reunited baby, look after yourself till i get there to do my motherly duty

Lots of Love from
your very proud mummy xxxxx